


See You Again

by KillianJones32



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Forgiveness, M/M, Scared Oliver, pining connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 08:17:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6975133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillianJones32/pseuds/KillianJones32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I know I shouldn’t be here. It was wrong of me to show up here last night after what I did, especially in the state I was in. If you don’t want to see me again, that’s your choice. I’ll be devastated but I’ll respect your decision. I don’t want any other I.T. guy or anyone else to sleep with or be with.” Connor swallowed, “I just want you. I know I don’t deserve you after all I have done but you still deserve to know how I feel.” </p><p>How Connor and Oliver grow back together behind the scenes after Sam's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	See You Again

“Can I see you again?” 

Connor hates how nervous he sounds.  
It’s so unlike him to ask for anything. He just takes what he wants or manipulates people into doing whatever he wants and he never thinks twice about it.

But Oliver is different.

Connor has a sickening feeling that if he shows up at apartment 303 unannounced again, he will have the door quickly slammed in his face. Something that has happened to him far too many times for Connor to let it happen again.

Oliver refuses to meet his gaze and instead looks at the wall behind him.

“That’s probably not a good idea.”

Connor feels his heart plummet in his chest but Connor Walsh never goes down without a fight. 

“Oliver-“

“There are plenty of other people out there who can help you hack into places.” Oliver says firmly “The majority of whom would gladly sleep with you if you wanted, so you don’t need me-“

“I do” Connor says softly, stepping closer to Oliver whose hands seemed to be trembling ever so slightly.

“I’m not a counsellor. I can’t help you with your drug problem and I doubt I’m the best person to comfort you right now given everything that happened between us-“

“Oliver.” 

At the sound of his name, Oliver stops rambling and finally meets Connor’s gaze. Oliver’s brown eyes are soft but firm. Connor can tell by his composure that Oliver is determined not to trust him again or to let him back into his life. 

Connor hates the tears that spring to his eyes at that knowledge. 

“I know I shouldn’t be here.” 

Connor’s words surprise himself as much as they surprise Oliver. 

“It was wrong of me to show up here last night after what I did, especially in the state I was in. If you don’t want to see me again, that’s your choice. I’ll be devastated but I’ll respect your decision.”

Connor tries to remember every piece of advice Michaela had ever given him about relationships and apologises. Any other day he would never disclose so much honesty, he never would have allowed himself to be this vulnerable in front of another. 

But Oliver had already seen him at his worst so what was the harm in peeling back a few more layers if it helped him be allowed back into Oliver’s life? 

“I don’t want any other I.T. guy or anyone else to sleep with or be with.” Connor swallowed, “I just want you. I know I don’t deserve you after all I have done but you still deserve to know how I feel.” 

Oliver folds his arms and looks away again while Connor desperately tries to think of something to say, anything that could possibly make up for the turmoil he has put Oliver through. 

“Look, I…I’m going home for Christmas break next week so you won’t have to deal with me.” Connor smiles sadly “If…if you want to meet up for coffee of something then you can text me.”

Oliver raises his eyebrows and Connor falters,

“Assuming you haven’t deleted my number that is. If you have then you could message me online or whatever”

Unconsciously Connor has been tugging at a loose thread on his sleeve and he internally curses himself when he realises he is fidgeting.

Sensing he should leave before his presence becomes even more unwelcome, Connor grabs his bag and coat before heading towards the door. 

When he opens it, he turns to face Oliver once more. 

The soft, beautiful, innocent I.T. worker is rooted to the spot. His brown eyes wide and unsure while his crossed arms are less intimidating now and more of an effort to secure himself from Connor. 

Connor forces himself to smile, all too aware that this could very well be the last time he sees Oliver Hampton. 

“I’m sorry for what happened.” Connor whispers “If you decide you can stand to see me again then I promise I’ll-“

Connor desperately wishes he could say that he will never hurt Oliver again but after what happened with Sam, he isn’t sure he can promise anyone that anymore. 

Connor takes a shaky breath, “I promise I’ll do everything I can to make it up to you.” 

Taking one last look at Oliver, Connor walks out the door, hoping that the next time he sees him won’t be with a sheet of glass between them.

That is, if there even is a next time. 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

It should be easy to forget about everything over the Christmas break. 

He is away from school, exams, his crazy professor, weird colleagues who now know his biggest secret as it’s theirs too and he is away from Oliver and all the little things that reminds Connor of him. 

Connor is offered plenty of distractions at his family home.

His parents dote on him and constantly ask him how school is going, whether his internship is too stressful, if he is eating enough and exercising as often as he should. 

His brother in law awkwardly strikes up a conversation about soccer, video games and other topics of conversation that are much more inclined to interest Asher than Connor. 

His sister brings along a co-worker to their annual Christmas party with the intention of setting him up with Connor but his thoughts are too wrapped up in Oliver to even think about being with someone else. 

Not to mention his ridiculously adorable niece and nephew follow him around the entire week like he is their God. 

He should find it easy to think about something else and sometimes he manages to forget.

However when the night comes so does the smell of smoke, the blaze of fire and the sight of splattered blood that causes him to wake up shivering, sweating and desperately trying to fight back his screams. 

With everything going on it’s easier to pretend that everything is fine.

He can forget about burning bodies and the feeling of walls closing in when he talks to his sister about what colour he thinks she should paint her bedroom.

He can temporarily distract himself from the memories of a certain bespectacled I.T. genius when he reads fairy-tale stories to his nephew and niece. 

What he can’t shake is the feeling he gets when all the family sit down to eat Christmas dinner and Connor can’t help imagine what it would be like if Oliver were sitting next to him, laughing at his dad’s bad jokes and pretending to like his mum’s drunken singing.

It just so happens to be during the middle of his mother’s god awful rendition of a popular Celine Dion song when his phone beeps. 

Connor frowns as he reaches into his pocket, it’s half ten at night on Christmas Day, who could possibly be bothered to text him today? 

If it’s Annalise then he swears he might decide never to go back to law school again. 

Instead of a threatening message from his boss or a fake friendly message from a colleague, Connor’s heart jumps into his throat when he reads the message. 

‘Merry Christmas - Oliver’

Connor can’t stop the massive grin that spreads across his face. So Oliver hadn’t deleted his phone number. Though he apparently thought Connor had deleted his as he signed his name in the message. 

Connor shook his head and tried to push down the guilt he felt for making Oliver believe Connor would do that. 

Excusing himself, Connor fled to the kitchen to type out a response. 

‘Merry Christmas Ollie’

Connor anxiously clings to his phone for half an hour before he gives up and realises Oliver isn’t going to text back any time soon. Perhaps he had pushed it a bit too far by calling him by his old nickname. 

Taking a deep breath, Connor braces himself for more treacherous singing that would surely damage his ear drums and prays that he hasn’t screwed things up for good between him and Oliver. 

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Connor knows he should be patient with Oliver, he knows he should give him space to think and decide what he wants. 

Unfortunately Connor has never been a very patient person. 

Add that to the stress of his job, upcoming exams, the terrifying nightmares and the constant fear that he can never shake, Connor feels as if he is slowly losing it without Oliver.  
So when Oliver doesn’t message him when Christmas break ends, Connor waits a few days before throwing all sense out the window. 

It starts out simple, stalking Oliver on social media, catching himself thinking about the bubbly, clever nerd at random times of the day and spotting simple things in day to day life that remind him of Oliver. 

Soon enough he finds himself walking to work, taking the long way so he can purposely walk past Oliver’s building at the most likely times Oliver would be coming or going. 

He does this several times until finally a week later he ‘accidentally’ bumps into Oliver outside of his work building. 

“Oh God I’m sorry-“ 

Connor never realised how much he missed Oliver’s rambling until now and he can’t hold back the grin that takes over his face as Oliver stumbles to pick up Connor’s fallen folders, still oblivious to who he had bumped into. 

“That’s okay Ollie.” 

Oliver freezes, he is bent down on the pavement of the busy street and holding half of Connor’s paperwork for Annalise as well as his own over the shoulder bag which Connor knows holds Oliver’s beloved laptop. 

When Oliver finally stands upright again and meets his eyes, Connor offers him a small smile. 

“Connor…” Oliver says quietly. 

“Hey” 

It takes Oliver a second to fully register that Connor is standing in front of him but once he does he coughs and awkwardly hands him back his assignments. 

“S-sorry again. I honestly didn’t see you.”

Well that much was clear. 

Connor’s face lights up, “Don’t worry about it. It’s always a pleasure to run into you. Even if you send my homework flying halfway across the street.” 

Oliver blushes a dark shade of crimson which just causes Connor to grin more. 

Strangers brush by them in their hurry to get to work or school but Connor is perfectly content with standing here all day, watching Oliver bite his lip and push his quickly slipping glasses up his nose.

God he’d even missed those thick, black glasses, he hadn’t seen them in so long. 

Though admittedly he liked when Oliver didn’t wear his glasses as he could see his eyes better but he was attractive either way. 

“So eh…” Oliver scratches behind his ear “What has you on this side of the city this early in the morning?” 

Connor’s smile falls and he hesitates for a moment as he desperately tries to come up with a suitable excuse. 

“Oh Annalise wants to meet us somewhere this morning to talk to a witness about her upcoming trial.” 

Oliver frowns, “What about your classes?” 

Dammit, dammit, dammit. 

“Exams are coming up soon so it’s mostly just study classes.” Connor says, looking away from Oliver and becoming rather interested in the concrete work on the sidewalk. 

Oliver nods but his side smile gives Connor the impression that he doesn’t fully believe him. 

“Oh okay. I won’t keep you so.” Oliver steps to the side as if giving Connor the space to keep walking but Connor doesn’t move. 

No, no, no this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.

“No it’s fine!” Connor insists “Really, Annalise can wait.” 

Oliver laughs, shakes his head bashfully and steps forward so he is now beside Connor, 

“I’ve got to head to work anyway so…”

Connor swallows and nods in understanding, “Of course yeah…” 

Oliver takes a step forward but never breaks eye contact with him, 

“See you”

“Have a nice day” Connor offers, eyes falling to his notebooks as he desperately tries to hide the crestfallen expression on his face. 

“Are you…” Connor’s eyes rise hopefully at Oliver’s attentive voice, which is somehow so clear to him even amidst the early morning hustle and bustle “busy? Tomorrow I mean…  
around lunch time?”

“No!” Connor says before Oliver even finishes his sentence, “No. I’m not busy at all.” 

Oliver frowns at the ground, debating with himself on whether he should continue or not, 

“We could…get that coffee if you want?” 

Connor figures Oliver isn’t ready for a massive hug or for him to squeal like his niece and thank him for hours on end so instead Connor replies with an enthusiastic nod.  
“Yeah, I definitely want that.” 

.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Of course it would just be Connor’s luck that Annalise would schedule an important witness interrogation for lunchtime that day. 

He had tried to get out of it but as ever, Annalise was insistent that if he wanted to work for her then he had to abide by her rules or whatnot.

Connor failed to mention that after everything she had put him through, he didn’t really want to work for her anymore. 

“You can leave early Mr. Walsh but that’s all I can do. You’ll only put yourself at a disadvantage to the others by leaving but if that’s what you wish then fine.” 

So five minutes into the interrogation of the fragile, sobbing witness, Connor packed up his things, smirked at his envious colleagues and sneaked out the door. 

Wading his way through the crowd, Connor rushes to arrive at the coffee shop in time to meet Oliver. 

It would have made more sense for him to drive but Connor still can’t quite shake the queasy feeling he gets whenever he travels in the vehicle they used to transport Sam’s body.

So that’s why when he bursts through the door of the quiet, quaint coffee shop, red faced, hair askew and gasping for breath, the few customers and staff members turn to gape at him. 

Swallowing down the nerves that pool in his throat, he looks around and spots Oliver already here, sitting in the corner, face buried in a book. 

Running a hand through his hair, Connor takes a deep breath and makes his way over to him. 

“Hi”

Oliver jumps at Connor’s soft whisper and shuts his book abruptly.

“Oh, hey” Oliver replies and Connor thinks he hears shock in the other’s voice.

As if Oliver was expecting Connor to stand him up.

Connor smiles and drops his bag on the floor and kicks it under the table.

“You order yet?” Connor asks, gesturing to the counter behind him

Oliver shakes his head and stands.

“No-no!” Connor interrupts “Don’t worry about it, I’ll order for you. I’m going anyway. Is your preference still hot chocolate or…” 

Oliver hesitantly sits back down and nods, “Hot chocolate’s fine, thank you.”

When he finally gets their order from the teenager with no personality, Connor returns and slips into the seat across from Oliver.

Oliver accepts the warm mug with a nod and slides a number of coins across the table.

“No, you don’t have to-“

“Connor.” Oliver stares at him firmly and Connor begrudgedly stuffs the coins in his pocket.

A minute passes, then five and then it’s been ten minutes and Connor has enough of the tension and the awkward silent sipping of scolding hot beverages.

“So, em how was your morning?”  
Oliver put his cup down on the table and nodded absentmindedly, 

“Alright. One of the computers on the fifth floor caught a virus and we thought it may have spread to the others using-“ Oliver stopped himself mid-sentence “Eh never mind actually, doesn’t matter. How was yours?” 

Connor tried to gage whether Oliver wasn’t telling him about his computer stuff because he assumed Connor didn’t care or because to him it actually didn’t matter. He presumed it was the former, but against his better judgement decided not to question it. 

“Mine was okay thanks. Classes and then work with Annalise.” 

Oliver smiled into his mug, carefully avoiding eye contact with him, 

“I’m surprised you were able to get away.” 

Connor smirked, “I persuaded her to let me go early. Told her I had better places to be.” 

Oliver couldn’t supress a laugh and raised an eyebrow, 

“And she just gave in?” 

“Oh of course she did. I’m obviously her favourite.” 

The tension eased a little after that. The conversation was filled with aimless small talk. Connor hid his desperation with witty jokes and a cocky smirk but his confident demeanour faltered every time Oliver looked away, fidgeted with his mug or swallowed nervously. 

Unfortunately Oliver only has an hour for lunch, so long before Connor would like, Oliver is swallowing the remainder of his drink and buttoning up his fitting, warm black coat. 

Exiting the cosy coffee shop, Oliver and Connor shuffle their feet and internally debate where to go from here. 

“So…” Connor smiles nervously “Can I see you again?” 

Oliver bites his lip to suppress a smile at Connor’s teasing tone. 

“I don’t know Connor.” Oliver whispers 

“Please?” Connor says, offering his trademark grin to hide his frantically thumping heartbeat. “I could come over to your place Friday? Or Saturday? We could do something. Anything.” 

Oliver searches Connor’s brown eyes to find any signs of dishonesty or humour.

“It mightn’t be such a good idea-“ 

“Look…” Connor takes a step closer until there is barely an inch between them and lowers his voice, “Don’t decide now. Go to work, eat and sleep whatever just…think about it.”

Due to their close proximately Connor can hear Oliver gulp and so he decides to retreat.

“Let me know what you decide.” 

Oliver nods dumbly in response

“Bye Oliver”

“Goodbye Connor.” 

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Connor of course thought he would spend most of watching the Thorn Birds stealing sneaky glances at Oliver but surprisingly he found himself getting wrapped up in the exciting, romantic tale. 

When it finished over an hour later, Connor was surprised to look over and find Oliver cuddled into his throw pillow, eyes closed and mouth open as he breathed deeply in his sleep. 

A small smile appears on Connor’s face as he watches the usually worried man, sleep peacefully. 

Connor switches off the T.V. and begins to gather up his things. 

He debates whether or not to leave Oliver sleep on the couch or not. 

He wants to let him rest but Connor knows if he doesn’t disturb him then Oliver will wake up tomorrow morning with a sore neck and he doesn’t want that. 

Bending down on the floor in front of Oliver, Connor gently shakes his shoulder several times.

“Oliver…Oliver? Wake up Ollie” 

Oliver mumbles in his sleep and a moment later sluggishly sits up.

“Connor?” 

His voice is rough as Connor remembers the other times he has heard Oliver speak this way. Times Connor heard it after Oliver had woken up under very different circumstances. 

“It’s me, the movies over so I’m going home. I just wanted to wake you so you could sleep in your own bed and not on the couch.” 

Oliver hums in agreement and rubs his eyes.

Connor’s smile widens, “I’ll talk to you later. Night Oliver. “ 

Connor was halfway out the door when he heard Oliver ask,

“Will I see you again?”

Looking back at Oliver who was sitting up straighter on the couch and looking a small bit more alert than before, Connor replies,

“I hope so.” 

The door to apartment 303 closes and suddenly all the warmth and comfort he had just felt disappeared and he is left feeling scared, lonely and oh so cold. 

..................................................................................................................................................................................................................

After the unexpected kiss in Oliver’s kitchen, Connor doesn’t hear from Oliver for a week. 

For the first day or two Connor figures he will give Oliver his space but at the end of the day Connor Walsh was never known for being patient.

So when the third day comes and he still has heard no word from Oliver he begins to call him.

Each call is sent to voicemail and by the end of the week, Connor could have recited Oliver’s recorded voicemail to you if you had asked.

He was seriously considering walking in to Oliver’s workplace and confronting him about his recent lack of communication when Oliver finally called him back.

The Keating Five were buried under five feet of paperwork when Oliver’s ringtone sang from Connor’s phone. 

The others watched as Connor froze for a split second before clumsily grabbing his phone from the table and accepting the call. 

“Hello?”

“Connor…hey.” 

Dropping the paperwork from his lap onto a messy pile on the ground, Connor leaves the room for the tiny bit of privacy he can get in this house. 

“Oliver, how…how are you?” Connor asks, leaning against the wall of the deserted hallway.

“Good thanks. Sorry I’ve been busy for the past few days. Work stuff.”

Connor suspects that isn’t the whole truth but he doesn’t push it.

“That’s okay. I’m just” Connor chuckles under his breath “really glad to hear you’re okay.” 

“How are you?” 

“Also busy with work stuff but good.” 

The line goes silent and Connor worries the line has been disconnected until Oliver finally murmurs

“I’m sorry about the other night.”

“Oliver-“

“I shouldn’t have done what I did.” 

“It’s okay-“

“No we should have talked before-“

“Oliver.” Connor interrupts sternly “I meant what I said, okay? I want this…you. Only you. I only trust you.” 

When Oliver doesn’t respond, Connor continues

“I know you don’t trust me and that’s okay. I’m just going to…keep trying to gain your trust back bit by bit until you trust me again. If that’s what you want.”

Connor counts five beats of silence before Oliver says,  
“Yeah…that’s what I want.” 

Connor can’t stop the grin that threatens to split his face.

“Just…” Oliver continues “I’m not saying we’re getting back together.”

Connor’s grin falters, even if he had known that before Oliver had said it, the words still felt like a punch to the gut to hear them out loud.

“I know. We’ll take it slow.”

“Are you sure you’re able for that?” Oliver’s tone comes across teasing but there is a trace of genuine concern behind it

“For you? Absolutely.” 

They arranged for Connor to go to Oliver’s apartment the next day because Connor hadn’t been lying when he said he really wanted to find out whether the main characters in the Thorn Birds finally did it or not. 

When Connor re-entered the sitting room, a smile plastered on his face he found his colleagues blatantly not doing any work and instead were shamelessly smirking at him.

Connor frowns, “What?”

“Nothing” Laurel says, barely holding back a grin.

“We just…” Wes says seriously “hope we can gain your trust back bit by-“ 

He stops talking when Connor viciously throws a pillow at him. 

“Well only if that’s what you want” Michaela inputs and Connor glares at her. 

“I hate all of you” Connor mutters before sinking into his armchair and returning to his paperwork, sulking at every jab and joke his supposed friends make at his expense for the next few hours. 

Deep down Connor doesn’t care that they are taking brutal blows to his pride. 

If he is progressing with Oliver then that’s all that matters. 

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“One month down” Connor says, smiling as he clinks glasses with Oliver. 

It was only fitting to celebrate his one month of sobriety in such fashion, drinking apple cider from champagne glasses and watching Oliver’s guilty grin widen. 

“A lifetime to go” Oliver counters and sips from his glass. 

Of course for Connor he wasn’t really celebrating his month of sobriety. Yes, he had kept sober for the past month to keep up the pretence of overcoming his ‘drug addiction’ but in reality he was celebrating something much different. 

He was celebrating one month of reuniting with Oliver. 

They still weren’t perfect. They weren’t officially back together yet. 

But in the weeks that had followed that tragic, haunting night, Connor was determined to keep Oliver in his life and to prove to Oliver that he could change, that he could be loyal and exclusive to only him. 

Connor knew Oliver cared for him, that had been evident from the ‘I more than like you’ Oliver had accidentally let slip but he knew Oliver was still wary to trust him after all that had happened. 

Connor couldn’t blame him but that didn’t make him want Oliver any less. 

He needed Oliver, he needed his smile, his laugh, the way he rambled about computers or books or T.V. shows. He needed Oliver to remind him to finish his paperwork or to set his alarm or to text him when he had forgotten something at apartment 303. 

And Oliver was right, he would have to live with what he had done for the rest of his life. 

The first month was over, a month of terrifying nightmares, common anxiety attacks and the constant guilt which ate away at him every second of the day. 

Connor knew he would have to live with the memories of that night forever. 

But he could only hope that he would have Oliver with him to get him through it  
.  
And that night when they said goodnight at Oliver’s apartment door, Connor asked, 

“So….can I see you again?” 

Oliver simply grinned and leaned forward to kiss Connor chastely on the lips before gently closing the door in reply. 

Connor beamed and took that as a yes.


End file.
